Hmmmm. Where to begin? Who is Jesus? What has He done in my life?

This is dedicated to simply the enjoyment of His presence, and a pointed rambling about His presence in my life. I can only tell this from my point of view, from my experiences.

I met Jesus at an early age. My parents were church-goers, first to a Methodist church, then a couple Lutheran churches. Although I like to poke quite a lot of fun at organized (and typically "staid") organizations, I can say that Jesus was still present, at least enough for me to get to know Him. Although my parents were fairly faithful church-goers, I'm not sure how serious in their hearts they were about Jesus Himself. There is a difference.

I became friends with Jesus during my middle school years. After I left the more formal trappings of the Lutheran church and started going to a non-denomination church, I was introduced to the Jesus who is worshiped, not just spoken to in the context of rote words printed in church hymnals. As I experienced Jesus in this new way, it seems as if Jesus was "knocking on the door of my heart", desiring to be an active, living part of my life. Many ideas I had conceived about the world began to be challenged by Him at this time.

I became Jesus' disciple at age 15 in Lakewood, Colorado, when my father was dealing with some pretty tough and intense relational issues. During this time, Jesus seemed to be the only thing that was stable and steadfast in a very dynamic and unpredictable world. Because my dad worked a lot, it was just me and my Bible, and as God directed my eyes through the Bible, it just seemed to make sense. I can't explain it any other way...you know how you read a favourite book several times over and miss some key point until the n^th time through, all of a sudden - it hits you! - the same thing you've read numerous times makes sense...well, that's how it was with me and the Bible.

In my early high school years, I started attending a more "free" church - liberated from the bonds of tradition - across town on my own. The pastor in this 1,000-member church always seemed to be talking directly to me when teaching out of the Bible. I learned during this time to be a bit more set in my beliefs, as Eugene, Oregon, is quite a liberal place (that's a good thing, by the way!). I also learned that - to my shame - I had become too set in my ways as I hurt several people with how I disregarded their views in favour of mine. Jesus began to teach me then (and it's taken a long time to sink in) that He is much more interested in peoples' hearts than He is in their theology. I say this because over the years it has become apparent that some of the nicest/warmest/gentlest people have terrible theology, and some of those who hold the most accurate theology have absolutely no regard for other human beings.

This was an exciting time for me. On the one hand, I was quite an introvert, but on the other became friends with people significantly divergent worldviews (Bahai, Communist Youth Brigade, Satanist, Jew, and so forth). I joined a newly-formed rock band as a heavy metal guitarist. I started hanging out with some really fun and cool university students at the U of O.

A note on high school, it seems that most people didn't really enjoy their high school years, but mine absolutely rocked! First, I had my best friend with me all the time (Jesus), and I really enjoyed the diversity of friends that I had. I think the mainstream people kindof avoided me because one day I would wear a t-shirt with "Change of Heart" on the front (a local Christian band) and JESUS ROCKS! emblazoned on the back; the next day I would wear my Ronnie James Dio (remember Black Sabbath?) t-shirt with the devil killing everyone in hell on the front, the next day. Well, if nothing else, it engendered a lot of laughter for other people...

During high school, I met my wife, Kelly, who is from British Columbia (hence the B.C. Ducks). After graduation, I moved to British Columbia and after a few years of work and community college enrolled in engineering at the University of British Columbia. Spiritually speaking, this became a low point in my life. For the entire 10 years I resided in Canada, I just felt dry. The culture is decidedly British there, and this sortof "staid" and stuffy attitude permeated the churches there. Although I understand now there is quite a revival happening there, most of the churches at the time seemed either horribly off the Biblical mark or were just plain dead. However, part of it was just my mindset at the time. Once, as we visited the newly-formed Abbotsford Vineyard, a gentleman came up to me and asked if he could share something God had put on his heart. After agreeing, he explained that God gave him a vision in which I was on a playground; all around me were a bunch of other people, laughing, swinging, and carrying on, while I was off to a side of the playground on my own, refusing to join in on the fun and games. His comment to me was that God really wanted all of His children to join in on the fun, and God was wondering why I was holding back. During this time, I had become a studious adherent of the Bible, enjoying my research but not participating much with my heart. Naturally, I resented this vision but over the years have appreciated the invitation. Lately, I've actually been joining in!

There were spiritual bright spots during this time. Through our church, St. John's Shaughnessy (a *gasp!* Anglican church), we started and led a home Bible study group. The first year we ended up with two Australians, an Irishwoman, an Englishman, an Egyptian, an African, an American, and a small Canadian contingent. Having this diversity really added some spice to studying the Bible, and just added a lot of spice to our understanding of the rest of the world. Since my engineering school was just across the road from Regent College (a popular seminary), I would occasionaly divert my attention from calculations to joining in on the chapel times at Regent. Student-led worship is the best!

Although spiritually dry (perhaps I should say "experientially dry"), the one thing God taught me was how His grace permeates the Old Testament. I thought the Old Testament was filled with wrath, andger, war, and retribution. I know many will take issue with this, but what God showed me was that He hasn't ushered in a new personality with the New Testament with the advent of Jesus; His grace is consistent from the first page of Genesis to the last page of Revelation. He opened my eyes to the grace that is written on the pages of the most dry law-giving seminars He gave Moses. To this day, my conviction of this fact just continues to enlarge.

Well, late at night again. More to come...